I’m not anti-social by any means but being around people for an extended period of time can become draining and the only way I can recover is by having some time to myself. Most of you can probably relate to this as well, at least to some extent.
What I’ve found though is that as I’ve gotten closer to the age of 30 my group of friends has shrunk. I’ve gone from being part of multiple groups through school and college to now being down to only five people who I class as my inner circle. They’re a good bunch of guys but even though we might all be wearing the same shoes we walk different paths. Each one of them is in a committed long term relationship and has been for as long as I can remember and these days we rarely socialise with each other.
The point I’m trying to make is that nowadays it’s becoming increasingly difficult to meet new people. In an age of negative media and online dating trying to approach someone you’ve never met in the street or at a coffee shop and asking if they will be your friend is somewhat frowned upon. You might be thinking that most relationships these days start at work and you’re probably right but in my position as a manager getting into a relationship with an employee isn’t the smartest move.
To get around this I’ve tried online dating many times, and still occasionally have a swipe on tinder but being an average guy with average looks the odds are stacked against me. I’m not a head turner by any means so in a society driven by appearance being born average and online dating just don’t mix.
The question now is if you don’t meet new people through friends or work, you can’t approach people in the street without being frowned upon and you can’t find someone with online dating what do you do next?
Now don’t get me wrong I’ve had opportunities over the last two years to get into new relationships. One came from an employee in work (who later turned out to be a lesbian) and the other two were off Tinder. The reasons these potential relationships never went anywhere, other than the lesbian bit, was because I didn’t truly want to. What I mean by that is I don’t want to be in a relationship with just anyone, I’d much rather be on my own than be with someone just for the sake of it.
Too many people choose to settle to avoid being alone even though deep down they know the person they’re with isn’t truly the one. I see it every day, my entire group of friends have done this but no-one will ever admit it out loud.
I know, because I made the same mistake. For four years of my life I was with someone through fear of being alone. The reason that relationship finally ended was because I met someone incredible that changed my entire outlook on life.
I don’t know, if because of her, my standards are too high but the thought of settling to avoid being alone is far worse than being alone.