Over the last two years I’ve probably swiped more on Tinder than I would care to admit, I’ve sent countless opening messages varying from the sweet and innocent to the copy and paste and the sexually overcharged but ultimately it’s got me nothing other than the odd interesting story and a few more notches on the bed post.
To some that might sound like a good deal. A few swipes when you’re sat on the can, some simple messages and voila you have a girl in your bed wondering if this is just a one night thing or if it’s actually going to progress into something more.
For a time I thought I had it sorted, a string of casual encounters with girls that I classed as being good enough to sleep with but not good enough to introduce to my parents. No hassles, no strings and no expensive meals. Listening to friends talk about their troubles and how their other half is “annoying” and how they “won’t stop complaining” made me realise that single life isn’t as bad as some people made out.
However, no matter how many dates I went on or how many girls I convinced to come round to my place for the first date that feeling of emptiness never really went away. The truth is I didn’t “want” these girls they were just fulfilling a primal egotistical need for validation and it worked, albeit for a short time.
I wanted something more, something real but the girls I’m interested in just don’t look at me in that way and the girls that do look at me are the ones I’m just not interested in.
There have been exceptions to this dilemma. Two of the girls I met on Tinder made me seriously consider whether or not I should take if further. They weren’t quite the 10’s I was looking for but I liked them nonetheless. My concerns with both of them was that I’d be constantly looking for an upgrade, looking for the next girl who I considered to be closer to my ideal.
To me, thinking about the next girl before you have even got with the current one is a red flag and this is why neither one went any further.
So back to swiping I went looking for more than just a casual encounter and hoping that one girl, somewhere out there, see’s past my average looks and wants to know about the real me. Ironically, something that I’m unable to do.